Newly Weds
by Sam I Am the gate fan
Summary: If only undercover missions could always be this much fun!
1. Part One

Newly Weds

By Sam I Am – 

Rating: PG (can't honestly be any more than that)

Warnings: Sam/Jack (that's a warning for anyone who don't like that)

Category: Sam/Jack Romance, Humour. (If there's anything I missed out someone tell me!)

Spoilers: References to 'Seth', maybe 'Divide and conquer.

Time frame: Um... whenever after 'Divide and Conquer' (I think!)

Summary: If only undercover missions could always be this much fun!

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime / Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No copyright infringement is intended. No money is being made. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission. If you want to archive my story TELL ME, or, to borrow a phrase from our beloved Colonel, I am SO gonna kick your ass!

Author's Notes: This is the first chapter of a story I began a while ago. Just felt like putting it on line, for no apparent reason at all! Enjoy!

Dedications: I have the best Best Pal/Editor in the world and I love her to bits! Thanks for everything, Hon! Also to everyone who catch my bus to school and my classmates! Love you all! Finally, to every single S/J fan out there. You guys rock!

Here's the beginning... Newly Weds!

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The debriefing was boring as Hell and Daniel wasn't improving matters by babbling on about the inhabitants of D5S... oh who was he kidding?!? Like he knew what that damn planet was called!

Jack watched the excited archaeologist's mouth moving forming words, but all he could hear was 'Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah!'

He sighed slightly as Daniel finally paused for air. General Hammond interrupted before Daniel could begin again, "Thank you, Dr. Jackson. I will seriously reconsider setting up a facility for anthropologists to study the Jobians."

Daniel smiled pleased with himself as the General looked around the table almost pleading people to answer his question in the negative, "Anything you'd like to add?" When no one answered the General smiled slightly, "SG-1, you're dismissed."

Jack almost sprung from his chair, but then the General spoke, "Colonel O'Neill. Major Carter. Would you both stay behind for a moment?"

He turned slowly on the spot as his 2IC lowered herself back into her seat, a look of complete confusion on her face. He walked back to his seat and sat down opposite her again.

Maybe the General had noticed his loss of concentration part way through Daniel's monolog. He'd accidentally knocked Carter's leg and he'd frozen completely still as the woman's blue eyes locked with his for a second. He'd felt himself blush and then felt her leg knock against his purposefully, a look he couldn't quite decipher on her face, before she drew her leg under her chair.

Dear God... that doesn't count as playing footsie, does it? That can't be allowed!

The General spoke, drawing their attention to the two new briefing folders before them, "There is another Goa'uld on Earth."

"Another Goa'uld?" Jack spoke as none to fond memories of Seth and that crazy smoke, which made him completely forget who he was, came to mind.

General Hammond nodded motioning towards a picture of the man in their folders, "Unlike Seth, who you've previously encountered, this Goa'uld hasn't been here along time. He only arrived recently."

Jack looked at the photo. The guy's face was sunken, but otherwise quite handsome for a snake head. He had blue eyes and blonde hair, his skin well tanned. Not bad. Jack spoke slowly, "Recently?"

Carter's eyes widened slightly at something she was looking at in her folder. A flush came to her cheeks as she hurriedly shut the folder and glanced at him before staring at General Hammond with rapt attention.

Hammond spoke, "We have no intel on who this Goa'uld is or why he's consorting with Colonel Maybourne..."

"Maybourne?"

General Hammond chuckled, "Colonel, are you going to repeat everything I say in this briefing?"

"Sorry sir, but... Maybourne? What the hell is a Goa'uld doing talking to Maybourne?"

"We don't know, but that is the 2nd objective in this mission..."

"And the 1st?" Carter asked finding her voice though after she'd spoken the embarrassed flush returned.

"The 1st is to find out where the Goa'uld's Mother ship is," General Hammond indicated to the satellite picture, "This was seen coming into orbit past Saturn 2 months ago."

The picture clearly showed a Mother ship. Jack looked up at his CO, "Why wasn't anything done to stop it?"

"Because a second after this picture was taken, the ship cloaked..."

"And you don't know where it is now," Carter said filling in the gap.

"That is correct, Major." General Hammond spoke, "The President has asked that you and Major Carter go under cover to see what you can find out."

Jack looked through his folder, past the endless photos of Maybourne and the Goa'uld 'consorting', flipping through all the pages of writing, until he came to something of interest.

He felt a blush come to his own cheeks as he gawped at their new identities:

Name: Jonathon 'Jack' Kent

Age: 42

D.O.B: 03/03/1959

Nationality: American citizen

Last known residence: , Ohio...

"I seemed to have become younger..."

The General nodded, "You will both be required to disguise yourselves with hair dye and coloured contacts."

Jack didn't mind. _His_ profile wasn't what bothered him. His profile was perfectly OK, except for two lines which made his eyes fly to the other profile...

Spouse: Samantha Louise Kent

Date of Marriage: 14/07/2001

That was tomorrow... Oh God! His eyes fixed on the other profile his jaw dropping slightly...

Name: Samantha Louise Kent

Maiden Name: Samantha Louise Riley.

Age: 37

D.O.B: 20/05/1964

Nationality: American citizen

Last known residence: , Ohio...

The two lines Jack needed to see appeared in his eye line and Jack felt his throat constrict:

Spouse: Jonathon 'Jack' Kent

Date of Marriage: 14/07/2001

"Colonel?" Jack looked up at General Hammond as the man spoke with a knowing smile, "You will be posing as a newly wed couple on their honeymoon..."

"Newly Wed?!?"

General Hammond spoke, "You're repeating me again, Colonel."

"Sorry, Sir," Jack managed to stammer.

General Hammond continued, "You are getting married tomorrow I believe..."

It was Carter's turn to stammer a reply, "We're... we're... what?!?"

"You are not actually getting married, Major," General Hammond said with a smile showing he was enjoying this WAY too much! He cleared his throat, "But you'll both be arriving at the airport fully geared up..."

"In a wedding dress?" Sam asked looking as if she'd never heard anything more absurd.

"Yes. And you, Colonel, will be in a Tux."

"A Tux?" Jack repeated before muttering, "Sorry, Sir." He cleared his throat, "I assume we won't have to get on the plane like that?"

The General grinned again, "You'll be flying in comfortable clothing, Son, first class. Don't worry." The General grin became utterly mischievous, "You'll be flying out, after your wedding, to Maui tomorrow afternoon..."

"Maui?!?"

This time it was Carter's turn to repeat the General. Jack looked at the woman who seemed to have turned beetroot red at the mention of Maui. Jack didn't blame her after Urgo had decided making Jack's thoughts on the place known to everyone else was a clever idea!

"Yes, Major. Maui. Colonel Maybourne has been island hopping in many tropical destinations since my temporary retirement," he glanced at Jack a silent 'thank you' in his eyes as always when the subject was brought up, "But he hasn't moved for almost six months and has naturally raised suspicion. It was 2 months ago that he was photographed with another man. Another photo was taken but showing the body heat. Let's say it's not that easy to hide a Goa'uld from that."

Jack looked at his 2IC as she looked back up at him. In any other situation this would've been hilarious, but naturally... it wasn't. The truth was he'd dreamed of this so many times and they were about to do it... as an undercover mission.

"Can no one else do the mission?"

They both spoke in unison making them blush even harder as the General struggled to keep his amusement completely under wraps, "The President specifically asked for you two because of your experience with the Goa'uld and your ability to carry out orders. Also, you, Colonel, seem to have an understanding with Colonel Maybourne."

Jack muttered mutinously under his breath as Carter murmured, "Sir, do we... I mean... are we... uh... do we have to...?"

The General spoke still smiling, "You'll have to act like a newly wed couple, Major."

The Major's complexion became an even more vivid pink as her jaw gritted. Jack looked at the General as the man murmured, "And I think we all know how newly wed couples act."

Jack grimaced slightly at that before the General spoke glancing at his wrist watch. 2330. Jesus, it was late. Daniel could sure talk!

"OK. Both of you get some rest and report to the infirmary at 0800."

"Fraiser taking a hand at costume design, Sir?"

General Hammond nodded before murmuring, "Good luck. Dismissed."

Jack sped from the room, Carter hot on his tail. They were a way down the corridor before she said softly, "Colonel?"

He stopped and turned hesitantly to look at her. She was still blushing shyly as he murmured, "Uh... that would be... Jack... now... I guess."

She nodded suddenly fascinated by the floor, "And... Sam."

Jack nodded and murmured, "Night... Sam."

He turned again but then felt a hand on his shoulder, "Uh... Jack?"

She stepped in front of him as she mumbled, "How... um... How do... uh... newly weds... act?" There was a prayer in her eyes along the lines of 'Please don't say they act like I think they do'.

Jack cleared his throat slightly and spoke uncomfortably, "They... um... well... newly wed couples... uh... they... th... um... they... can't keep their hands of each other." Jack stammered hurriedly, scrapping a hand through his hair bashfully before speeding past her to his quarters.

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Sam walked into the infirmary and could hear the Colonel's loud objections, "I am SO not walking around in this!"

She heard Janet speak mockingly stifling chuckles, "Personally, _Mr. Kent_ I can see why _Mrs. Kent_ fell for you. You look damn good in that tuxedo!"

"That's it! I'm changing!"

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice, Jack. Or would you prefer to wear the dress?"

Sam finally saw him stood there in a tux, looking extremely awkward and irritated... but damn, did he look fine... Whoa, wrong line of thoughts there!

He looked up then and probably saw the approving smile on her face before it disappeared. She saw him gulp slightly as he murmured, "Carter."

"Nah uh uh, Colonel. You have to call her 'Sam'," Janet insisted obviously milking the situation for all that it was worth.

Jack blushed and frowned embarrassed, "Not here I don't."

"Well, you need to practice or else you're gonna blow your cover. Now, can I hear you call her something other than 'Major', 'Carter' or 'Major Carter'?"

Jack stared at his shoes grudgingly, shoving his hands into his pockets as he managed to grumble, "Hey Sam."

Janet immediately began to giggle and Sam could see that this was quite funny. Sam remembered when she'd been at high school and they'd had to dance with a boy for one of the Teacher's farfetched project ideas, Ballroom Dancing. The boys had all looked like the Colonel... Jack... did right now.

Sam cleared her throat slightly, "Where do you want me, Janet?"

Janet controlled her laughter as she said seriously, "Ah yes. You need to try on your dress."

"I assume we won't need to wear these all the time?" Jack grumbled from behind her.

Janet answered his question with a shake of her head, "You can wear normal clothes after you arrive in style at the airport."

Sam was lead into the private room that was vacant. Janet pointed to the pure white dress lying on the bed. Sam felt a lump appear in her throat as Janet went to the door and said, "Colonel, Captain Keating will begin to sort you out."

Sam now noticed the young woman stood in the infirmary using one of the gurneys as a make-up table. She could've filled three large closets with all of that stuff!

Captain Bethany Keating's long auburn hair was always pulled back and kept safe from everything. The woman's one love was her hair and although Sam didn't like her vanity, Captain Keating was a lively, chatty woman. She winked at Janet and snipped her scissors together impatiently, her blue eyes rolling to the heavens, "Come on, _Mr. Kent_. I haven't got all day and your wife may need my attention at some point."

Jack grumbled mutinously something that sounded awfully like, "That's _Colonel_ to you, _Captain_," as he sauntered towards her reluctantly.

The woman flashed her a grin and winked comically as Sam just smiled back sheepishly, the Captain's words still spinning around her head, _'Your wife'?_

Janet closed the door again and pulled her by the sleeve to the bed, "Right. Let's dress you up."

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Janet looked her in the eyes as she came into the room grinning, "Oh, Bethany! I think you did good! Sam looks fantastic!"

The woman grinned, "I'll go help finish off the Colonel, now I've done her hair," she looked at Sam, "Didn't know I used to be a part-time hairdresser, did you?"

"Nope," Sam said with a smile, "Thank you."

"No problem," the Captain said as she left the room.

Janet tottered over to her like a teenage girl trying out 'styles' with her best friend, grinning from ear to ear as Sam murmured, "Do you have a mirror?"

"Sure," Janet grabbed the handheld mirror from the bedside table as Sam stared at her reflection. She barely recognized herself.

Her hair was now long and seriously wavy almost curly. It looked natural, rather than looking overly blonde, overly straight or overly frizzy.

She ran her fingers through it gently, "Wow."

Janet grinned and then spoke excitedly, "Do you like your contacts?"

She looked at her dark brown eyes and smiled, "Yeah. They're great."

Janet squealed happily and then spoke, "Then we're ready to begin phase 2!"

"Phase 2?"

Janet grinned mischievously, "Well, it's rather obvious you and the Colonel need some practice when it comes to the acting like 'newly weds' and General Hammond ordered..."

"Oh no no no no no! I don't want to hear it!"

Janet spoke loudly, "... that you to need to get a little... more... newly wed!"

"Oh dear lord!" Sam said hand on forehead, "And I thought we'd have the rest of the day off!"

"No. It's going to be a LONG day!"

Sam sighed impatiently, "When are we catching our flight?"

"About 5, but you need to be there about 4, seen as the idea is that you two are supposed to run in late, fully-geared up."

She glanced at her watch. It had only just gone 1030. _Great_!

There was a knock on the door and Janet said brightly, "Come in!"

"Hey Janet. You said there was something you needed help wi... Oh my God! Sam?!?"

Sam smiled slightly as Daniel and Teal'c stepped into the room. Daniel was gawping at her and then looked at the wedding dress in confusion, "Did I miss something?"

Janet smiled, "Didn't Hammond tell you about Mr. Kent and his bride-to-be?"

"I believe he did not," Teal'c said his eyebrow rising, "Should he have?"

"Yes," Janet sighed. She beckoned them back through the door into the infirmary, where she realized they'd obviously discovered Jack, and turned to Sam, "I'll explain to Daniel and Teal'c while you get into that dress. If you need a hand call me."

"OK. Uh... what does the 'practice' entail?" Sam asked cautiously.

"Well, the first thing you need to do is... actually I think we'll start with dancing. Leave the best till last!" The Devious Doctor winked.

"Dancing?!?!?!?!" Sam said fearfully as she jumped up off the bed, "Janet, I... I... I really DON'T dance!"

"Good job we're going to that first then."

"What's the dancing for?"

Janet grinned slyly and didn't answer, but instead continued with her previous line of thought, "Seen as you'll find dancing most difficult we'll practice that. I'm guessing that you won't find the kissing any problem at all!"

"The kissing?!?" Sam exclaimed in a surprisingly shrill voice as her giggling friend closed the door behind her.

Sam collapsed back to sitting on the bed with a frustrated sigh. She glanced at the dress beside her. It was a beautiful dress.

'God, I wish this was real...' She shuddered, 'No. No I don't. Now you really are being silly.'

Janet had told her about her 'new' occupation. She was a kindergarten teacher. That was great, Sam loved kids, but the previous occupation she'd apparently had... well, she'd been an underwear model!

She smiled at the thought that Daniel was probably here to coach Jack into being a convincing archaeologist. By the end of this the Colonel probably will have morphed into Indiana Jones! Sam felt herself bite her bottom lip, trying to stop the thoughts that played through her head at that particular little fantasy.

She sighed softly and lifted the dress holding it up against her and twirling on the spot. She smiled, "This might not be so bad after all."

Å

Jack sat on the edge of the gurney swinging his legs as Captain Keating told him what she'd done. Apparently, his hair was died brown and he had to wear glasses as a disguise. That meant most of the time he could wear shades, which was fine by him. Besides that, she was talking him through his occupation...

"I'm a what?!?"

"You're an archaeologist who has worked in Egypt and returned to the USA six years ago when you began giving lectures. You're a professor," she said with a grin as she put his glasses on.

"You sure you're not reading from Carter's file?"

The woman gave a wry smile, "I'm positive, unless you happen to be a kindergarten teacher, who was a women's' underwear model before that?"

Jack felt all the blood rush to his face for what must have been the twentieth time in less than 24hrs, "I'll take the archaeologist."

Just the thought of Sam as an underwear model made his heart stop...

He immediately shook off the thoughts as Captain Keating spoke, "Right then, Colonel. I think you're done!"

"Great!" Jack said sarcastically as he jumped off the bed.

Daniel, Teal'c and Janet who'd all been talking in the corner wandered over.

"Wow, Jack! You look... different!"

"Shut up, Daniel!" Jack said harshly as he saw the man's amused expression.

Janet looked him up and down, "Daniel had a point when he said 'Wow'! You honestly look great in a tux, Colonel."

Jack gave her a warning look as Teal'c began speaking, "Why is it that you deter from wearing a tuxedo, O'Neill?"

Jack shuffled his feet, "They make me feel uncomfortable. I feel like a suit."

"I do not understand how anyone could feel like an article of clothing."

It was at that moment that the door to the private room opened slowly and Sam stepped into the bright lights of the Infirmary.

Jack felt his breath physically punched from his diaphragm as he looked at her. Her hair was now long, wavy and golden and he vaguely heard Janet congratulating Captain Keating again about the wonderful hair extensions and then discussing with the chatty Captain if they should fix it up for later, although Jack thought her hair looked beautiful how it was. Sam's now brown eyes met his from behind the white veil and didn't seem to lose any of their intensity as she shyly smiled her beautiful smile. In her eyes he could read the silent question and could almost hear her apprehensive voice in his head.

'_Well... how do I look?'_

The long white dress had a slight train and was a sort of Celtic style, with long sleeves. The whole dress was pure white and when the light shone on it you could barely miss her. It was off the shoulder, showing her dainty neck and... went lower. The bodice was tight and most definitely showed of her body for how it was.

One thought ran round Jack's head at that moment and he SO wished it wasn't!

'_She is so beautiful...'_

Sam broke the eye contact and turned to the two women, "I really love these brown contacts."

"I thought green," Captain Keating said with a smile, "But Janet insisted on brown!"

Sam smiled and then murmured, "Can I take this off now? I feel kinda... silly."

Janet laughed and murmured, "No way! We're gonna practice your dancing remember!"

Sam groaned as Jack looked about in sudden shock, "What dancing? Dancing? Dancing! What!"

Janet and Captain Keating began giggling as Daniel interrupted him, "Sam, you look incredible!"

"My opinion also is that you appear exceptional, Major Carter."

Sam blushed slightly and Jack felt his heart beating wildly in his chest at the genuinely bashful expression on her beautiful face, "Thanks Guys."

If there was one thing that made Samantha Carter irresistible, it was the fact she had no idea how... gorgeous she was, for use of a better. She was... WOW! Yep, that pretty much summed it up!

Janet turned to Captain Keating, "Thanks a lot, Bethany."

"No problem. Any time. I'll see you all later," she winked at Jack and Sam, "Have a nice Honeymoon!"

"Right," Janet said taking command as the Captain left the infirmary, "We've got just over 5 hours to get you two ready and in a limo on the way to the airport..."

"Limo? You're gonna bring a limo driver all the way up to the base?"

Daniel smiled, "Uh no. Teal'c's driving."

"I believe you also have a costume for me, Dr. Fraiser," Teal'c said solemnly although Sam could barely stifle a giggle as the Doctor nodded trying to keep serious.

She spoke, "OK, Daniel. You've been married. While I sort out _Parker_ you give those two some pointers."

"Oh, but Janet..."

The woman, dragging Teal'c with her, slammed the private room door behind her as a most distinctive "Who is Parker?" came from the Jaffa's mouth.

Daniel looked not only awkward, but extremely irritated. He looked at them both and murmured, "So you guys have to act married, huh?"

"Daniel, married would be easy," Jack grumbled in his usual mocking dialogue, "All we'd need to do was start arguing every now and then and no one would be any the wiser!"

"Oh yes of course," Daniel murmured with a lopsided grin on his face, "You have to act newly wed."

"Yes, Daniel, we've established that," Jack snapped obviously not at all happy with the situation. Sam felt slightly sad at that. It meant that he really did _not_ want to be doing this and chances were that he didn't feel the same way she felt about him. She sighed noiselessly as Daniel spoke, "OK. Let's get started!"

Å

Daniel sat on the bed watching the couple swaying to the soft music as stiff as boards. This was ridiculous! Not only had Sam been right when she said she couldn't dance, but by the time they'd finished Jack would have some very bruised toes.

From studying them Daniel guessed the reason Sam was failing miserably at the dancing was because she was so... nervous? Nerves? Was that it? Daniel couldn't really tell. Maybe it was her fear of getting too close to Jack...

He looked up as Janet sidled into the room and walked over to him, perching on the bed beside him, "Not good?"

"Nope," Daniel murmured back.

Janet nodded, "I can see." She nodded to the room with a small grin, "I'll switch, but I'm warning you. Teal'c is NOT a happy Jaffa."

"You can get happy Jaffa?"

Janet laughed, "Colonel O'Neill's finally rubbing off on you. What a waste of intelligence!"

He chuckled softly and then sighed with slight frustration, "This is getting nowhere."

Janet sighed sadly, "It's the regs. I know for a fact how they feel about each other, but because of the regs they have to pretend they don't and carry on, never wishing. Giving up on the hope that maybe one day they can be together..."

"And then all of a sudden they get handed a chance on a silver platter with loads of encouragement," Daniel said nodding in understanding, "If they just loosened up a bi..."

Janet held a finger to his mouth and he looked up. Sam was whispering something in Jack's ear. Daniel saw a grin break across his face as he murmured something in return making the beautiful woman laugh.

And that was it. They seemed to melt from their frigid stances and began to move pretty gracefully, talking softly the whole time. They watched for a minute. Sam relaxed into Jack's arms as she laughed at something he said and she didn't step on his feet again. He was... grinning. Jack never grinned. Smiled, yes, but grinned...

"It's a goddamn miracle!" Daniel muttered.

Janet was biting her lip and grabbed Daniel's hand as she whispered, "Yes!" She jumped up and pulled something from her pocket...

Click. Click. Click.

Photos. Janet was taking pictures with a camera. She hid the camera again and sat back down with a small sigh and that look women have on their face when they see something extremely slushy!

It was then the music stopped and the pair left each other with a small shy smile, eyes firmly averted to the floor.

Now they looked a bit more like a newly wed couple. Once they got rid of some of that nervousness they'd be fine.

Then the spell was broken as Teal'c walked into the room in his chauffeur costume, his cap pulled over his golden emblem as he said, "I believe this outfit is most unsatisfactory!"

They all burst into laughter at their companion who looked most definitely pissed off. Sam stepped up to him and placed a comforting hand on his arm, "I don't know. I think you look very dashing, Teal'c."

"I believe you are giving false testimony, Major Carter."

She shook her head, "Honestly. If you weren't looking like Hell's fury, you'd look very handsome."

"I am most irritated that I am obliged to wear this uniform."

"Your job's easy, T," Jack grumbled, "You just have to drive."

'Yeah, while you and Sam have to make out on the backseat!' Daniel thought a smile coming to his lips before he hid it again.

Janet sighed, "OK. I think that's enough dancing. Daniel, come with me and we'll get these guys some lunch. You two," she pointed at Jack and Sam, "Your suitcases are ready?"

"Yep," they both replied unenthusiastically.

"And you've packed everything you'll need?"

"Yes, Mom," Jack muttered as Janet scowled at him.

"You're gonna have lots of spending money and your hotel and everything have been booked, so now all you have to concentrate on is getting that Goa'uld etc."

"OK," Sam said with a smile, "Thanks Janet."

The kindly doctor smiled, "No problem. I consider myself the official Maid of Honour! It's my job."

Sam chuckled as her friend dragged Daniel behind her to the Commissary and the room plunged into an extremely uncomfortable silence.

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"Now, it's time for Phase 3..."

Sam looked at Janet in horror as if she'd just pronounced the apocalypse was definitely coming and that the entire Earth was about to be destroyed, "Janet? It's not what we discussed... is it?"

"Oh no no no!" Janet said chuckling at her friend's expression and at the expression on Jack's face, one of confusion and anxiety, "That's the last phase. Colonel, could you come here please?"

Jack grumbled putting down the remains of his sandwich, which he'd been eating extremely slowly so as not to have to do anything till he'd finished. Unfortunately, Janet had gotten irritated with that little plan and now they were on Phase 3 which he didn't like the sounds of. Seen as Phase 1 and 2 had been bad, Phase 3 had to be worse.

Jack stepped over to the small doctor and Sam. She manoeuvred him next to his 'bride', "Hold out your left hands."

Reluctantly they both held out the prescribed hands as Janet brought out two ring boxes with a devilish smile, "Samantha Louise Riley do you take Jonathon 'Jack' Kent to be your lawful wedded husband?"

Sam glared at her friend, "Just give me the goddamn ring!"

Janet began to giggle, but did as her best friend bade. She didn't ask Jack. Judging by his expression that would've been a dangerous thing to do and although she was near medical equipment here, she wasn't sure she'd survive long enough to use any of it!

They both put on their rings in silence and looking pretty irritated. Janet stared at their hands and took back Sam's left hand and then Jack's right. Jack and Sam both looked at his hand and then up at Janet as Jack said, "What?"

There were two clicks and when they looked down...

Silence enveloped the room, until Janet and Daniel couldn't contain their laughter anymore. Sam glanced at her companion and he looked at her. A smile began to twitch at the corner of her lips. Jack still looked pissed off. That made it even funnier.

Sam bit her lip, fighting back a full blown smile and then snorted.

Silenced filled the room again...

Sam began to laugh, the hardest Jack thought he'd ever heard her laugh. Her eyes watered as she gasped for breath. She lifted her hand to wipe her eyes, causing his hand to bump into her face. She immediately dropped her hand back down, eyes wide, no longer laughing.

Jack turned to the Doctor who was still smiling like a maniac. He gritted his teeth, "I'm assuming this is Phase 4 and that an Evil Doctor with an unhealthy fetish of ridiculously big needles concocted it."

Janet grinned and nodded to Daniel, "Nope. It was all Daniel's idea."

Jack glared at the man as he immediately put on a straight face and gulped before Janet tried to explain, "Newly Weds don't let their partner out of their sight so that's what Phase 4 is all about."

Jack spoke his voice laboured and dangerously quiet, "I can understand, Doc... but were the pink fluffy handcuffs _really_ necessary?"

Å

Yet more Author's notes: I'm going to try and write some more chapters for this when I get the chance. I'm writing a REALLY long novel currently which should be finished soon, but I want to get it out of the way. This, however, I wrote ages ago, but I thought I'd add more on at the time. My muse, it seems, is occupied with foresaid novel, so this is all you're getting for the mo! Please send me some Feedback and I may consider hurrying up with a sequel!


	2. Part Two

Newly Weds

By Sam I Am – 

Rating: PG (can't honestly be any more than that)

Warnings: Sam/Jack (that's a warning for anyone who don't like that)

Category: Sam/Jack Romance, Humour. (If there's anything I missed out someone tell me!)

Spoilers: References to 'Seth', maybe 'Divide and conquer.

Time frame: Um... whenever after 'Divide and Conquer' (I think!)

Summary: If only undercover missions could always be this much fun!

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime / Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No copyright infringement is intended. No money is being made. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission. If you want to archive my story TELL ME, or, to borrow a phrase from our beloved Colonel, I am SO gonna kick your ass!

Author's Notes: For all of you who asked for the next chapter I have been writing this for just over two days! Chapter no. 2 coming your way!

Dedications: I have the best Best Pal/Editor in the world and I love her to bits! Thanks for everything, Hon! Also to everyone who catch my bus to school and my classmates! Love you all! Finally, to every single S/J fan out there. You guys rock!

Here's what happens next... Newly Weds!

Å

Chapter 2

"This is SO embarrassing!"

Sam glanced at the man walking down the corridor beside her. He looked pissed off! Sam couldn't help it. She let out a giggle.

Jack shot her a glare, "No giggling, Major!"

"Sorry," Sam straightened her face. After a second she spoke, "You've gotta see the funny side of this though, Sir." She let out a small chuckle, "We're walking through the SGC, geared up like we're getting married, our wrists connected with vibrant pink fluffy handcuffs..."

Jack's tried to stop his lips from twitching but how could you when a woman was handcuffed to you, giggling and as happy as she was! She grinned at him with her eyes, now a deep chocolaty brown, glittering merrily and he chuckled.

Jack spoke with a grimace, his chuckle fading away, "You want to know what's so funny about this. This was Daniel's idea, therefore, he's the one with the keys, therefore, they are EXCEEDINGLY likely to suddenly disappear, therefore, we have no idea how long we're going to be stuck like this, therefore, we may be walking around in pink fluffy handcuffs until we get in the limo to be driven to the airport!"

Sam's smile disappeared and suddenly she looked desperate to get the handcuffs off! She looked at him then at the handcuffs then back at him and gave an irritated huff, "I am going to KILL those two!"

Jack chuckled and nodded as his fingers got tangled with hers by accident. They both stopped dead for a moment. His eyes looked at their hands, little fingers hooked around each other. His eyes lifted to the velvety brown eyes of Sam as she looked at him.

A deadly thought entered his mind. He was going to be spending his 'honeymoon' with Samantha 'Kent' and he was supposed to make it look convincing. He was supposed to hold her, dance with her... kiss her... But after two weeks it was back to Colonel and Major, O'Neill and Carter, professionals and colleagues.

Jack was suddenly scared, yes, _scared_. Scared that he wouldn't be able to keep his feelings suppressed, scared that after their two weeks he'd be so... so in love with Carter that he'd be slowly dying inside when they were back at the SGC.

Sam blushed slightly and looked away, her dark eyes falling to the expanse of white dress covering her as a long curl of golden hair fell from behind her ear and brushed her cheek delicately. After a second, she spoke her hand moving as far away from his as was possible, "So, do you think the General really has a reason for us to go see him or do you think he just wants a healthy Texan Chortle?"

Jack smiled although his previous pondering had left him a bit depressed, "No doubt. I bet it was that Old Dog's fault we got the mission anyway! Hammond has a seriously evil sense of humour!!!"

They turned around a corner and wandered past the SG-3 marines who were all just leaving the gym area, chatting amicably. Jack muttered something like 'Aw Crap!' as he attempted to turn invisible through will power, but the superhuman ability was not one that Jack possessed.

The Marines all had to take a double take before guffawing and wolf-whistling until the 'Newly Weds' turned another corner, where Sgt. Siler and Sgt. Davis tried to walk past, Siler walking straight into the pink fluffy handcuffs and somersaulting over it to the floor and Sgt. Davis just losing his footing, taking a stumbling step of shock.

He turned a strange colour red and tried to give a professional looking salute as he gawped at them, "Colonel O'Neill! Major Carter! I... What... Your hair... and...????"

Both rolled their eyes and said in unison, "Don't ask!" as they hurried past the two men both staring after them in absolutely astounded!

Siler glanced at his friend after a minute or so as the man helped him to his feet, a frown creasing his forehead, "Was that just...?"

"Yes."

"And were they...?"

"Yes."

"With pink...?"

Davis nodded and then mumbled, "I can't believe it!"

"Me neither... Dr. Jackson was spot on with his bet and everything! That guy's a genius!"

Davis nodded as he pulled out the small notebook where all bets in the 'Sam/Jack' category were kept as he flicked through. His eyes widened, "I'm going to ask for some tips!"

Siler spoke holding the man back before he sped off down the corridor, "Oh no, you're not! I met him first and I was the one who took his bet in!"

"So, I see him the most!" Davis retorted staring up at the taller man and pushing his glasses up his nose, puffing out his chest territorially.

"Fine!" Siler said lying on the floor, sitting his elbow on the shiny surface and rolling down his sleeve as a few airmen passed them, giving them strange looks, "I'll arm wrestle you for him!"

Davis just grinned, "I was just going to say the same thing, except not arm wrestling! I was thinking more along the lines of racing you for him!"

The small, plump gate technician sped off down the corridor as Siler jumped up and ran after him yelling, "No fair, Walter!"

Å

When the door with its shiny sign saying 'Major General Hammond Ù­Ù­' appeared the couple gave a sigh of relief. After walking for 10 minutes along the corridors of the SGC and then getting stuck in a lift with two of the Infirmary nurses and SG-11, all renound for their gossiping skills, Sam and Jack were beyond pissed off.

Sam had always loved Janet like a sister, her dearest female friend, especially at the base... but at this moment in time Sam was just about willing to throttle the woman! Jack of course had muttered something about 'giving the Doc a taste of her needles-centric medicine' and 'giving Daniel a peanut to chew on' seen as he was known for his serious nut allergy and the time in the Commissary when he accidentally ate something with ground almonds in and blew up like a balloon!

Sam glanced at Jack and then at the door and lifted her left hand, avoiding the use of her right seen as it was currently firmly attached to Jack's, and rapped on the door.

The usual, almost gruff, "Come in" came from within as Jack hesitantly opened the door to the office, knowing in the pit of his stomach George was planning something.

Surprisingly, there was nothing out of the ordinary. General Hammond sat behind his desk signing something or other. He glanced up and smiled slightly, "Ah. Colonel, Major, please take a seat."

They shared a wary glance before moving to the desk and somehow managing to pull the chair away from the desk and sit down without yanking each others arms off.

Hammond finished signing whatever it was before he spoke, "I just wanted to confirm that you will be leaving the base at 1530 hrs and arriving at the airport at about 1615 hrs. You have two weeks, but we've discovered Maybourne is staying in the Sunset Apartments about a mile from you. His next meeting with the Goa'uld will be in the same place as before on Saturday. After that we have no idea how long it will take. What we need you to do is get intelligence. Only capture the Goa'uld and Maybourne if there is little risk or you have backup, is that understood?"

"Yes Sir."

General Hammond smiled, "Good. I'd like to say you look beautiful, Sam." Sam blushed at the comment from the man who had known her since she was toddling around in diapers. He glanced at Jack, "And you don't scrub up to bad either."

"I could say the same about you, Sir."

The man chuckled, "OK. You're dismissed."

Jack spoke unable to contain his irritation, "You made us come all the way up here just to tell us that?!?"

"No not just to tell you that. To see if Dr. Jackson really did carry out his handcuff idea," the man laughed as Jack stared down at the handcuffs detested.

Hammond motioned for them to leave, "I'll see you when you leave."

Sam and Jack both just gave him a scowl as they left the office and began their humiliating walk back to the Infirmary.

Å

"Janet... why?"

"Phase 5 is a trust exercise."

"But I already trust Carter..."

Janet sighed irritated, "SAM! Call her Sam!"

"Fine." Jack huffed adolescently, "I already trust Sam with my life..."

Daniel let out an unfitting giggle, "We know that! You don't really need to do this Phase! We just wanted to blindfold you for the hell of it!"

Jack bellowed angrily as he heard the two doctors scuttling out of the door, "DANIEL!"

Sam sighed from the other side of the room, "Great! Just great!"

"What? It's not my fault! Try taking them off!"

Sam made a straining noise before she grumbled angrily, "Should've realised Teal'c would do his super tight knots when he began tying these on. There's no way I can get this off."

Jack had a go and then muttered, "Me neither."

An awkward silence filled the Infirmary...

"So..."

"Sir, the point of the exercise is trust. Therefore we probably have to do something rather than just sit here."

Damn Carter! Jack spoke in his usually tone, "Fine then, Smarty Pants! What do you propose we do?"

"Well... take the blindfolds off."

Jack spoke, "Ah ha! You just said you couldn't!"

"I said I couldn't take my own. It would be easier if I was untying yours."

"Eureka!" Jack said sarcastically, "Samantha Carter, Astrophysics Genius has made a discovery!"

Sam spoke irritated, "There's no need to be so sarcastic all the time."

Jack spoke apologetically, "Sorry. I'm still angry about this whole situation!"

"I understand." She said sincerely before he heard he step of the gurney, the bed rattling as she did obviously unsteadily, "Right. I think we should... find each other."

"Easier said than done. We're at opposite ends of the Infirmary!"

Jack got up all the same a held his hands out forwards as he began to edge slowly towards where he thought Sam was, "Keep talking and don't move and I'll try and find you."

"OK. So... Maui huh?"

Jack chuckled, "Maybourne must be irritating and inconvenient on purpose."

Sam's voice came from slightly to the left of the direction he was taking and he adjusted accordingly as she continued, "I haven't been on a holiday in I don't know how long. You know me! The only concept I don't understand is 'down time'!"

Jack laughed, "Was that a joke, Major?"

"Yes, _Jack_. It was."

Jack winced, "Oh yeah. I am SO useless with names!"

Sam chuckled her voice getting closer, "I know, Jack."

Jack smiled. He liked the sound of her saying his nam...

"Ouch!"

"Oops! Sorry Ca... Sam!"

"You just poked me in the eye!"

"I can't see where I'm going, OK?"

Sam sighed and he felt her hands reach out a touch his chest. She tried not to shiver at the contact as he placed his hands on her shoulders. She spoke, trying to gulp down the lump forming in her throat, "Turn around and I'll untie your blindfold and then you can do mine."

Jack spoke quietly as he did what she asked, "OK."

Sam's hands moved to his back and slowly ran up his neck to the back of his head where she found Teal'c super-duper quadruple knot.

Her finger's fumbled with the material as slowly she prised the material out of the knot. After about 2 minutes, the blindfold dropped and Jack muttered, "Ow! The light's so bright in here!"

"Now undo mine," Sam said as she slowly spun around.

She felt Jack's long fingers brush the sensitive skin of her neck accidentally as he reached up to the knot and began to undo it. He'd finished in half the time she had, his restored vision obviously being an asset.

Sam winced as bright light made coloured stars in her eyes, "You were right about the light!"

Sam blinked back the coloured dots as she suddenly felt something was amiss. She turned to the man stood behind her and found his looking above in horror. Slowly, her eyes rose.

"You've gotta be kidding me!"

Janet and Daniel peeked in through the door and then strolled in. Janet spoke with a devilish grin, "Oh yes, Sam! Phase 6 has arrived!"

Jack's eyes turned to the Doc, "Somebody tell me this isn't what I think it is!"

"It isn't what you think it is," Daniel said grinning, "If you don't think its mistletoe!"

"Aww Crap!"

Janet spoke seriously, "This is a VERY important Phase, Guys. You need to look convincing."

Their eyes connected and Sam felt herself blushing vividly, "But Janet..."

"No. I don't want to hear it!" Janet said sharply, "You can't be this embarrassed in public, or else someone's going to be thinking you're weird or something!"

Jack's eyes had never left hers. He gave a sigh, "She has a point, Carte... uh... Sam."

Sam sighed, "Fine."

She took a step forward and quickly brushed her lips past his.

"Stop stop stop!" Daniel said with a tone similar to that of a teacher disappointed with his students' progress, "That's not good enough! You look like you would much rather be kissing Apophis instead of your husband! Again!"

"Again?!?" Jack groaned in a tone that mirrored a child.

"Yes again," Janet confirmed as Jack turned back to Sam.

He realised the only way they were going to do this was if he just... just kissed like he'd always wanted. Just long enough to satisfy Janet and Daniel and not to make Sam feel too awkward and embarrassed. He knew she'd much rather be kissing anything but him. There was no way she loved him and the fact that he obviously had feelings for her must be so deeply embarrassing. That thought made him depressed, but he still had to do this, even though neither of them wanted to... well, in a way he did. He'd love nothing more than to kiss Samantha Carter, but only if she wanted to as well, or else it would feel wrong.

Without warning he leant forward gently taking her face in his as he kissed her. He was surprised when she actually kissed back for a second. It was only their lips brushing together, but it still made Jack's heart ache and yearn for her.

That thought made him pull back. He watched as Sam slowly opened her eyes. She looked upset. She spoke, "Now we're done, Janet, can I go and look over our mission details again?"

She didn't wait for an answer and moved to the other side of the room where she immediately began reading the folder on her lap.

Jack watched and then looked at his shoes. Janet looked more awkward than either Sam or Jack had previously and Daniel cleared his throat, "I'm going to my office to catch up on some work before you guys leave."

"Yeah and I've got a meeting with the General in half hour and I fancy a coffee. I'll come say goodbye later."

"Ok, Doc," Jack mumbled as his friends left the Infirmary, Jack having not moved an inch since he'd kissed Sam.

Å

Sam was hurting. A lot. She fought off any urges to cry as she sat and meticulously 'read' the mission details although really she was just staring at the writing.

Truth was, when he'd kissed her, her heart had broken in two. He'd kissed because he'd been forced although for once she wished he felt the same as she did. She wished for once he would kiss her because he loved her. It was a dream, nothing more. Sam knew it, but she still wished it with all her heart.

She glanced at him sat on a gurney at the other end of the Infirmary. He was swinging his legs and staring into space in a way that definitely told her he was thinking. Probably thinking how stupid this all was and how stupid it made him feel.

She felt heartbroken, knowing, in a sense, that he did not love her.

Knowing her dreams had been shattered.

Å

Jack glanced at his watch and then at the woman who hadn't moved from her position reading the mission file since 'Phase 6'. "Uh Sam? We gotta go."

Sam looked disappointed as she looked around the Infirmary, "I would've like to say goodbye to Janet. Oh well. I'll call them from the airport."

Jack stood up and glanced at her as she hopped off her own gurney. She didn't smile at him in her usual way. She smiled almost sadly, the expression causing his breath to catch in his throat. God, she pitied him! After a second he managed to croak, "We better hurry. We leave in the limo in 10 and it's quite a way to the surface.

They began to walk quickly along the empty, grey corridors towards the lift. They stepped inside and Jack pressed the button to the surface. The lift gave a small jerk and began to ascend. Sam stood in one corner, Jack in the other as far away from each other as possible.

Sam was still embarrassed over Janet making them go through Phase 6 so many times. That woman was pure evil!

Jack was thinking of Phase 6, as would anyone who'd been subjected to it. He was embarrassed yes, but he couldn't shake the intoxicating smell of her perfume or the taste of her lips from his mind.

They reached the surface and the lift doors opened. Sam gasped and Jack groaned as suddenly there was a ground breaking cheer. SG-11 and those two orderlies that had been in the elevator when they'd visited Hammond earlier had obviously done their job!

Sam spoke, "I thought it was quiet when we left the Infirmary!"

Everyone, it seemed, from the SGC was now stood in two long lines. A red carpet lay down the path between them and stood at the very end, which seemed miles away, was a white limo ribbons and flowers attached to the bonnet along with cans at the back and a big sign painted with thick black writing 'Newly Wed'.

Stood by the vehicle was one very tall, unhappy looking Jaffa, dressed in his navy blue chauffeur costume, an archaeologist kitted in one of his suits, a small doctor grinning evilly, having removed her white coat for once, both her and the bald stocky Texan General both stood in their dress blues.

They glanced at each other, the mocking roars and cheers ringing in their ears as they began to walk as quickly as they could to the limo. Every step they took people were yelling out their congratulations above the din and trying to shake their hands.

A showering of rice and flower petals rained down on them leaving them thoroughly drenched in the wedding spirit. Even above the whooping of the crowd they'd accumulated Sam could still hear Jack muttering, 'I am going to Kill Daniel! I am going to kill the Doc! I am going to kill the General! I am going to kill Maybourne! I am going to kill the President!'

Sam laughed at his murderous mantra as they passed SG-3, the four marines whistling and calling out words to the effect of 'It's a damn shame you're no longer single, Major!' and 'Where did you pick up that Honey, Colonel?'

They finally reached the limo and the end of the red carpet. Jack was positively scowling. The crowd hushed to hear his words as he said in a murderous growl, "I am going to kill all of you!"

General Hammond patted him on the back paternally as he said in a very patronising voice, "Of course you are, Jack. Now get in the damn limo and stop moaning!"

Jack frowned in a mock-hurt expression before scowling at Daniel and his partner in crime as they both grinned evilly, enjoying every second of his humiliation.

Sam climbed into the car and shuffled over. Jack however refused to move and it was only when the entire SGC came crashing down on top of him, almost literally, did he move an inch. He spoke loudly as he was bundled into the backseat, "Two weeks? You only have two weeks to live, Guys! In 14 days, you better start looking behind you because I'm going to kill you all! That's right you heard me..."

Janet slammed the door, muffling Jack's voice to the outside word. He looked on the side of the door pressing the button as the window rolled down, "Hey, I wasn't finished!"

The limo suddenly pulled away, Siler and Davis having some kind of argument as they stood with a large pair of speakers that suddenly boomed out a wedding march. Jack wound up the window and tried to catch a glimpse of their alien driver before the Jaffa concealed himself, pressing one of the many buttons which drew up a screen between him and the back seat.

Jack let out a frustrated sign and glanced at his companion. Sam looked pale staring at her fingers in silence. She threaded her fingers through her long, curled hair, pulling a lock behind her ear. They were sat pretty close Jack noticed, more feeling it than seeing it. He could feel a flame lighting within him. He took a deep breath and his nose caught the faint scent of her perfume. It made him giddy.

He turned to her and found her watching him. He leant forward slightly completely not in control of his body. She no longer looked pale, her cheeks turning pink as she turned her face back to her hands in her lap and murmured, "Sir, I... I..."

She looked up at him with eyes that were beautiful even in a different colour. She sighed and then forced a smile, "Let's just get Maybourne and that Goa'uld."

Jack nodded, knowing she had changed the subject as best she could considering the circumstances and considering they both seriously needed to talk about this and yet were both reluctant to start the conversation.

Jack sighed again and said thoughtfully, "I hope Daniel packed everything I'll need... What?"

Sam looked at him strangely and then murmured, "Did Daniel offer to pack for you?"

"Yes. The General asked if he would for me while we were having our... Oh Shit!"

Sam spoke in a horrified whisper, "Janet packed for me."

Jack repeated himself in quick succession before finishing his cursing with, "We are so royally screwed! Damn those Doctors!"

Sam moved forward to the seats opposite Jack and knocked on the partition. Teal'c dutifully rolled it down before he spoke, "Yes, Samantha Kent? What is your request?"

Sam frowned, "Call me Major Carter."

"I cannot, Samantha Kent. A bet is currently in place of which Daniel Jackson has decided I shall only refer to you as Samantha Kent for this entire journey. He has threatened that if Sgt Siler wins then he shall destroy my Simpsons comic collection. Samantha Kent, I do not wish for his warning to transpire."

"Teal'c, how are they going to know if you say are names?"

Teal'c spoke in what sounded like an amused tone, "You should understand, Doctor Kent, that Sgt. Siler is a very skilled electrician and has, in fact, bugged this vehicle so that, in Sgt. Davis's words, you could hear a pin collide with an object if for some meaningless reason someone decided to release it."

Sam and Jack shared an anxious look as the partition rolled up again. Jack spoke very loudly, hoping to deafen the people listening to their conversation, "I'll bet you Carter that I can find a bug and scream down it louder than you can."

Sam grinned and laughed before she shook his hand, shrieking shrilly, "It's a Deal!"

Å

Leon used his stick to pick up another piece of rubbish and shove it in the black bin liner. He hummed to himself as he picked up after the thousands of people who passed through this airport everyday. A snickers wrapper there, a tin can here, a newspaper, an apple core... At least it wasn't his turn to scrape up chewing gum on the bottom of the departure lounge seats this week. He hated that, but he loved this.

He loved being useful. His fellow workers in the airport couldn't understand Leon and honestly, Leon couldn't understand them. Actually he could.

"Nobody knows it don't hurt to help people anymore!" Leon said to himself, agreeing with himself with a small nod, "Yep. All too wound up in themselves and in their inadequacies. Don't know what they're missing."

Leon Robinson was African American and in his late forties. He was tall and lanky, over 6ft 4. He had shortly cropped curly black hair and a nose that was slightly crooked after he'd knocked himself unconscious and broken his nose, running into a jungle gym when he'd been 7. He wandered around the airport in his bright yellow coat and yet he was invisible to the people bustling around.

"Always rushing people are. Always rushing. Why don't they just slow down? If you're late you are still going to be late when you get to where you're going, that's what I say."

Most would think Leon was peculiar. Leon thought most were peculiar. He couldn't understand how people could be so... inhuman. Leon was special, although he didn't see it and no one else did. He had a certain outlook on life, a disposition that left most people dumbfounded. He led a simple life and he wouldn't have it any other way. He never worried about money. As long as he was doing his job good he didn't care about money. He wasn't rich, he wasn't poor. He just was. And that was the way he liked it.

For instance, most people worry about material things, worry for the sake of worrying. Everywhere they go in the day, their brains are on overdrive worrying, planning their day, thinking of all the things that could go wrong.

The one thing that was on Leon's mind at this very moment was that it was just past 4pm and that in an hour, his shift was finished. He could go home to his small flat, feed Bruiser, the small white kitten he'd found in a cardboard box two weeks ago and have his favourite food in the world... Cheese and Banana Sandwiches. He loved them. It was a tradition passed on through the Robinson family for years. Strange combination most thought, but it was nice.

He licked his licks as the claws of his device closed round a plastic bottle before he plonked it in the black plastic bag, "Uh huh. I'm gonna have myself a Cheese and Banana sandwich when I get home." Leon, known to his colleagues as the Big Friendly Giant, contemplated what Bruiser's favourite food was. Probably fish.

"I'll stop by the store and by her a nice can of tuna."

He got a strange look from the people walking past. He occasionally did. It was because he talked to himself. Leon wasn't lonely, which is what most people would assume. He wasn't stupid either. He just talked to himself and the occasional abandoned pet he'd take under his wing. That was all the company he needed.

He got closer to the automatic doors leading to the Car park and Taxi point. He began humming his favourite tune. He didn't know what the song was or what its words were, but today this was his favourite tune. Tomorrow another song would be stuck in his head and he'd be here, picking up litter and humming to himself, thinking about his sandwich and wondering what new treat he'd bring home for Bruiser.

He glanced out of the window as something white caught his eye. A limosine pulled up. It had ribbons and white flowers hung from the driver's windows to the tip of the bonnet. On the back was a sign.

Leon smiled to himself, "Newly weds." He pierced a tin can with the sharp claws of his device as he spoke, "Happy people who ain't gonna be worrying. They're my kinda people."

The chauffeur climbed out of the driver's seat. He was African American, the same height as Leon, although his face was pretty grim and he was a lot more muscular and brawny than the man watching them from his new position near the door.

He opened the passenger door to the limo and a man climbed out. He was brown hair, brown eyes, not quite as tall as their driver, but still tall. He was older than most of the newly weds who came through the airport and still geared up in his suit from his wedding no doubt. He was chuckling at some joke he'd obviously just shared with his new wife.

Leon chuckled as well, "What did I say bout being late? They don't care. Good on 'em!"

The man turned and held his hand out as a small fair skinned hand filled his. A woman stepped out of the darkness of the limo. Leon stopped dead, "Now there's a beautiful woman."

She wore very little make-up. Her shoulder-length hair was slightly curled and hung round her face in loose ringlets. She had chocolaty brown eyes, a wonderful rich shade, but that wasn't what Leon found beautiful about her.

She was smiling, truly happy, unaware of all around her. She had an air of grace about her although Leon's instinct told him she was a very strong woman. She smiled at her husband and leant forward giving him a peck on the lips, still smiling. It was the most beautiful smile Leon had ever seen. Completely real, unadulterated love shining from it.

Leon stopped staring and picked up a chewing gum wrapper that had just fluttered on the gentle breeze coming through the doors to his feet.

The chauffeur pulled their suitcases out of the boot. He turned to the newly wed couple smiling slightly and inclining his head in a strange respectful bow before he stepped back into the limo and drove off.

The man lifted up two suitcases as the woman took the other. She turned when she realised he was having difficulty with the two heavy cases, "Jack, do you need a hand?"

"No. I got it," the man, Jack, said smiling before he dropped a heavy case on his toe and let out an exclamation of pain.

The woman, still clad in a long flowing wedding dress walked back to him, "You can't manage these on your own, Babe. It's almost 4:15 and we're catching a plane in 45 minutes. You'll try and walk to fast and hurt your knee again..."

The man scowled, "No. I won't."

She laughed, "yes, you will. Now let me give you a hand... uh... can I help you?"

Leon was stood about a foot from her. He smiled slightly, "Well I was wondering if you needed a bit of help, Miss?"

The woman smiled again, a beautiful smile, "Thank you. Thank you very much."

Leon smiled. Who needed money when you could make someone smile just once? Make someone happy and grateful. Leon just spoke slowly in his low rumbling voice, "No problem, Miss. I'm glad I could be helpful."

Jack gave him a smile as Leon lifted the suitcase effortlessly. He was not the strongest person in the world, but he was definitely strong. The couple walked side by side towards the checking in desk which was beginning to close down.

The lady behind the desk caught sight of them a placed on a forced smile obviously not pleased they were late. She waited for them to lug their bags over as Leon watched her pitifully. Just from looking at her he could tell many things, another one of his gifts. He could tell instantly that she was rarely happy and that her true smile had disappeared in adolescence.

Leon placed the suitcase down as the woman with the true smile spoke to him again, "Thanks so much for your help."

Leon just spoke, "No, thank you, Miss. I'm glad I was helpful."

Jack looked at him. Not in the usual expression of being strange, but in a slight bemused expression. He nodded thankfully before he spoke to the woman, "Come on, Sam. Let's not keep the lady waiting."

Sam smiled one last time at Leon and then linked arms with her husband, both sharing a loving look before they began talking to the woman behind the desk.

Leon wandered back to his black bin liner and device as he watched the couple walk leisurely towards departures sharing a quick kiss.

He picked up his device and smiled to himself. He was slightly confused himself. Never in all the years he'd been working in the airport had he seen a woman with such an honest smile. Never had he seen two people so utterly... He could not explain it. Love was used in completely the wrong context in this time, but what they had. That was special.

Leon began humming to himself, thinking about Cheese and banana Sandwiches before he glanced at his broken watch that always had the wrong time and that only he could decipher before saying to himself with a smile, "Wait till I tell Bruiser."

Å

Yet more Author's notes: I'm sorry if there is a big gap between this Chapter and the next. For all you English, I am just starting Year 10 which means GCSEs are on their way and my parents are groaning and moaning about me spending all my waking moments on the PC! However, I will try and find some time to write some more for you guys cos you are all so nice to me... and I think if I don't I'll have an angry mob on my hands. Please review.

Copyright © Sam I Am 2004


	3. Part Three

Newly Weds

By Sam I Am – PG (can't honestly be any more than that)

Warnings: Sam/Jack (that's a warning for anyone who don't like that)

Category: Sam/Jack Romance, Humour. (If there's anything I missed out someone tell me!)

Spoilers: References to 'Seth', maybe 'Divide and conquer.

Time frame: Um... whenever after 'Divide and Conquer' (I think!)

Summary: If only undercover missions could always be this much fun!

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime / Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No copyright infringement is intended. No money is being made. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission. If you want to archive my story TELL ME, or, to borrow a phrase from our beloved Colonel, I am SO gonna kick your ass!

Author's Notes: Sorry it took me so long!

Dedications: I have the best Best Pal/Editor in the world and I love her to bits! Thanks for everything, Hon! Also to everyone who catch my bus to school and my classmates! Love you all! Finally, to every single S/J fan out there. You guys rock!

You've watched this space!... Newly Weds!

Å

Chapter 3

Sam stood in the women's toilets at the airport and breathed a small sigh. She moved to the mirror and looked at her reflection.

'This is insane,' she thought to herself as she stared at her almost surreal likeness. The person who stared back at her with deep brown eyes was not Major Samantha Carter. Not the astrophysicist on SG-1 with cropped blonde hair and baby blue eyes.

She was looking at Samantha Kent, newly wed with wide dark eyes and long golden curls framing her face. She was looking at Samantha Kent, the woman dressed in her beautiful white wedding dress who was supposed to be overjoyed and completely and utterly in love with Jack Kent...

She felt tears in her eyes and let out a small sniff promptly turning away from her image in the shiny silvery surface before her.

This was so hard. If anyone else was her partner in this it would've been highly amusing, or at least highly embarrassing, but he was her partner and although slightly embarrassing it was anything but amusing. This was everything she'd ever wanted, everything she'd ever wished for and it was a lie. What was more was he clearly didn't feel the same way. It was more than obvious he'd rather be anywhere else in the universe now as long as she was not there as well!

A woman stepped into the bathroom and Sam hurriedly wiped away the tears on her face that she hadn't been aware of until that moment. The woman stared at her in slight confusion as Sam smiled widely and hurriedly decided, with a quick glance in the mirror that she better go back to Jack in the departure lounge...

'Jack?' She thought to herself as she stepped from the bathroom away from the woman watching her with suspicion, 'He's not Jack. He can never be Jack. Not to me anyway.'

Å

Jack sat in the departure lounge wondering why in God's name he was going on honeymoon to Maui with the most beautiful woman he'd ever met. The fact he was wondering why said a lot about his thoughts on this mission. None of them were positive.

He sighed and stared at his hands, the flash of gold making him blink. He'd forgotten about the wedding band encircling his ring finger. It shone slightly in the artificial light and Jack's heart broke. He couldn't do this. He couldn't spend these two weeks alone with Carter, wanting her, needing her, loving her... He... He just couldn't do it.

The announcement came over the intercom that their flight was boarding and Jack looked to see the men opening the doors as two women began to check passports and tickets. He wondered where Sam had got to... Perhaps she'd run away. He gave a soft chuckle. He could almost imagine her abseiling down the terminal block after she'd climbed from the bathroom window, still in that wedding dress...

"Jack, Honey?"

He looked up and his eyes met the unfamiliar dark ones of his 'wife'. He immediately went straight back into the role play they had been forced into, hating every second of pain and agony that bruised his heart...

"Hey Sweetheart, you OK?"

She nodded and put on a soft loving smile. It was so forced that Jack began to despise it. His heart was in the process of breaking for the second time and the irony was that this woman had fixed it the first time. No, this wasn't Carter. He had to keep telling himself that or Jack knew he'd go insane.

She stepped forward her smile widening slightly as she lifted her hand to his face, her soft touch making him shiver. By the slight change in her expression, she knew he'd shuddered. No one else would've noticed...

He felt cool metal against his cheek amidst her warm fingers and he too stepped closer, his hands coming to rest on her hips, hugged beautifully by the wedding dress. Her eyes flicked up so they looked into his. Sam Carter had the most beautiful blue eyes and Jack had now met the woman with the most beautiful brown. They glittered in the artificial light and their colour was so intense it made breathing a chore.

Her eyes closed slowly as she leant towards him. When her lips touched his he felt his heart searing in agony, but he couldn't stop. He kissed her because he had to and it was after a couple of minutes he pulled back, feeling utterly empty.

He pasted on a grin as he said slightly out of breath, "Wow, Sam!"

He could see equal disgust in her eyes about their situation for a split second before it was replaced with a nauseating look of joy on her beautiful face, "Come on. We better get going."

Jack Kent smiled and kissed her again before grabbing their tickets and passports from his wallet. Jack Kent had his passport checked and his ticket, along with those of his beautiful wife. Jack Kent moved onto the plane and was led to first class seats where he sat beside Samantha Kent and waited for the plane to take off...

An hour later, when the lights had been switched off and everyone around him was asleep, Jack Kent disappeared for a moment. It was Jack O'Neill who watched the woman resting her head on his shoulder as she slept. It was Jack O'Neill who felt agony every time she took a soft breath and then let it out in an almost sigh. It was Jack O'Neill who gently moved a curled golden lock from her face and it was Jack O'Neill who felt so in love with this woman that her very proximity was painful...

But was it Samantha Kent or Samantha Carter who snuggled slightly closer? Was it the lovely Kindergarten teacher from Ohio or the beautiful Astrophysicist from Colorado, who opened her eyes briefly in the darkness, none of their colour visible? Was it a fictional character or the real life woman who whispered into the darkness, 'I love you, Jack.'?

Å

Jack's mind was preoccupied and Sam knew him well enough to know it wasn't his usual strategic pondering he used on every mission they went on. A tiny, almost unperceivable frown was creasing the small area of skin between his eyebrows and he had a look of weariness about him that reminded her he'd gotten no sleep on the plane.

By this time, as they stood outside on the steps of the airport, waiting for their taxi to arrive, they had both changed into more comfortable attire and Sam had expected Jack's mind to be calculating and analysing every little detail about their location. He should have been thinking about the mission, but Sam's knowledge of the man told her he wasn't.

He scrapped a hand through his now much browner hair and gave her a brief tired smile, but his dark eyes watched her extensively. Now she finally thought about it, his eyes had been following her ever since she'd woken up in the plane seat, after falling asleep on his shoulder, as the plane came into land.

It was a warm, tropical night, about 1 in the morning. Cicadas chirped loudly as the palm trees rustled slightly in the warm sea breeze. The night was very humid and Sam was glad she'd opted for a t-shirt and shorts, when they'd got changed in the toilets of the air-conditioned airport.

She tugged on the leg of her denim shorts self-consciously. Damn Janet! She'd packed the most EMBRASSING clothes she could find, most of them skimpy, but practical! Damn her!

Their taxi pulled up and Jack gave her a smile as the driver got out and helped load the suitcases into the boot. Sam hopped into the backseat and looked out of the window at the rustling palm trees.

Jack crawled into the seat beside her, his arm moving to possessively wrap around her shoulders as they both grinned with fake excitement. The Taxi driver kept up a small dialogue with them as he drove them to their hotel. It wasn't far; about 20 miles along the coast.

Sam replied to his questions politely adding in the phoney details about themselves. She noticed how tired Jack looked. He was quiet although didn't give up the pretence of being an excited newly wed.

When they finally pulled up at the luxurious looking hotel and villas she couldn't help but gasp. Jack smiled and shook his head muttering something that sounded like, 'Trust George!' Sam remembered Hammond and the Pentagon had set up where they were staying and that it was more than obvious Hammond had chosen the classiest place he could find.

She opened the door and climbed out helping the driver unload the luggage as Jack walked into the Reception to ask about their room. Sam smiled at the driver as she moved all their luggage onto the side of the road, "Thanks."

The driver smiled back and spoke in his husky accent as he climbed back into his vehicle, "No problem, Mrs. Kent."

As he said 'Mrs. Kent' it made her smile, before her situation dawned on her. The cab drove off down the road, the driver missing her expression as he disappeared into the night. Sighing softly, Sam turned to look around her. To her left was the large Hotel, ornate and modern. From the orangey glow of the lamp lighting the road, it was painted a pale orange colour as were the various villas and small houses lining the beach. The hotel was sat on a bay shared with only three other hotels. To Sam's right she could see the horizon where the deep blue of the sky was split with the almost black looking sea. The slender sliver of the crescent moon shone a thin, shimmering line on the gently lapping ocean. The stars were so clear here and Sam smiled at how much Jack would like that...

At the thought of her Commanding Officer, she glanced back at the entrance where he now came from looking surprised. She gave him a slightly concerned frown, "What?"

"We haven't got a room..." Jack said still looked shocked.

Sam's jaw dropped and repeated herself this time disbelief in her voice, "What?"

Jack continued, "We haven't got a room... we've got a villa!"

After he spoke, he began to chuckle, a grin spreading across his face as Sam exclaimed, "What!"

Å

They stepped up to the villa literally a hair breadth away from the golden sand of the beach. A warm breeze sifted the sand slightly and the soft lapping of the waves was so hypnotising Sam was in love with this place already.

Jack stepped up to the door and pushed the key in the door opening it as Sam admired the view. She took a backwards step towards the door slowly before she turned...

"Watch out for the..." Sam's foot fell on air and she stumbled, her hands clasping onto whatever they could for support. It was when warmth began to tingle through her fingers that she realised her hands were clasping onto Jack's shoulders, her palm pressed against his chest. She felt his chest vibrate slightly as he mumbled with a soft gulp, "...Step."

Sam stopped moving immediately, her face flushing hotly and her mouth went dry. Gradually she lifted her head until her eyes met his, her hand still splayed on his muscular chest. The soft th-thump of his heart beneath her fingers and the heat of his breath dancing over her skin made her face flush more. His breathing seemed so loud in the silence, only broken by the thumping of blood in her ears and the gentle waves reaching up the beach.

Her eyes were still not adjusting to see what surrounded her, but they could see his eyes. That was enough. Her eyes flicked to his throat where she saw him gulp slowly, his Adam's apple fascinating her only due to that fact she had to look away from those eyes. For a split second she'd been foolish enough to think he may... that he might... he didn't, did he?

Her eyes rose again and when they met his she couldn't help but stop breathing. Everything around her came to a halt and she felt her body freeze, her chest not rising with breaths, her eyes not moving with shock, her lips not trembling, her hands not shaking as she had been so certain they would've been. But in that second it was like she wasn't even alive. Like she was nothing more than a still image forever frozen in time. The fact she wasn't trembling was even more dangerous than if she had been.

It was only when he blinked and then a sort of panicked expression swept across his face that he looked away. He immediately moved to the light switch he seemed to have just spotted beside the steps and soft peachy light filled the room. Sam stood in the same position and for a brief moment closed her eyes in self-hatred for getting her hopes up.

For a second there she'd almost believed he... he liked her... maybe even more than like... Oh, she didn't know! She'd always kinda thought he might, but... oh god, this was so heart-shatteringly confusing!

Jack cleared his throat and then murmured softly, "I'll sleep on the couch..."

"No, Sir," Sam replied turning to him and finding him stood at the bottom of the steps she'd tripped down, one hand massaging the back of his neck in that way he'd been accustomed to doing in awkward situations. When he looked at her surprised, she continued, "You didn't get any sleep on the plane. I did. The couch isn't gonna be that comfortable and don't even try to tell me that with your back and knee you'd get a wink of sleep," Jack grimaced at the truth in her statement, rubbing a hand through his short brown hair. She spoke again emphasizing her point, "Take the bed, Colonel. I'll sleep on the couch and if you really want we'll take it in turns for the next two weeks."

Jack just nodded and then cleared his throat again. He gave her a brief smile, "Well I know better than to argue with the country's top astrophysicist." His throat seemed to have become incapable of speaking more than a dozen words at a time. He cleared his throat again and then met her gaze. He licked his bottom lip slightly and mumbled, "Night, Carter," before he sped out of the room towards the bedroom, shutting the door behind him, leaving Sam stood in the living room which doubled up as the kitchen with all the mod cons in one corner.

She felt like growling frustrated, but instead she just grabbed her suitcase, opened it and pulled out the nightdress Janet had packed before slamming it closed again, a little more forcibly than was needed and heading for the bathroom to get changed.

Å

Jack shut the door and leant against it. His head tipped back and he stared up at the dark ceiling for a second. He felt like growling frustrated, but instead took out his anger on the light switch, pushing it as hard as he could. The light came on and he stared around the room, only reminding him of what an idiot he'd been for a second back there.

When Sam had looked in his eyes, he'd felt like he was burning up, speeding through the atmosphere at a ridiculously fast speed. He felt like he would be falling through the clouds forever. She had stared into his eyes and he'd looked at her. She was dressed in that plain white t-shirt and tantalising short shorts. Her long golden hair fell about her shoulders, reflecting the soft light like silk does. Her eyes were such a rich, delicious shade of brown, staring right into his own eyes... For a moment his heart had overruled his brain saying that... that Sam... Oh it was ridiculous! Carter did NOT see him that way!

God, the look of utter shock on her face when she'd looked into his eyes, the way she'd turned her head away from his, embarrassed, they were enough to tell him how she felt.

He looked at the king size bed and felt a shiver travel down his spine. Even the thought of Sam kissing him, truly kissing because she loved him, was enough to make his knees quake and his fingers tremble. Through the wood of the door, he heard Sam move into the bathroom and took his queue to move back into the living room and grab his suitcase.

He glanced at hers, piece of clothing hanging around the edges, beneath the closed lid, showing she'd either been in a hurry to find what she was looking for or she'd been pissed off. Most likely the latter. He was pretty pissed off too although not for the same reasons. She was pissed off because she had to spend the next two weeks with an irritating old man, who had a crush on her, pretending to be his newly wed wife. He was pissed off because he had to spend the next two weeks with the most gorgeous woman he'd ever seen pretending to be his newly wed wife and who was, in no way shape or form, attracted to him.

He lifted the awkward object that was his suitcase and dragged it towards the bedroom. When he reached the frame he stepped through, attempting to pull the suitcase with him. Instead, the case hit the doorframe and fell on his toe causing him to stifle what alone in his own home would've been a colourful bellow. He grumbled, manoeuvring the case so it finally moved through the doorway with ease. He hurriedly shut the door and collapsed on the bed.

He closed his eyes and grumbled, "I should've known! Life is just one honkin' great Anti-me conspiracy!"

Å

He couldn't sleep. It was ridiculous! He'd had so little sleep recently, but he was now wide awake and could not sleep however hard he tried to count sheep, or Jaffa, which had only resulted in him trying hard not to laugh. Teal'c and Bray'tac staff-vaulting over a picket fence in a field full of bemused looking sheep had not exactly been the best idea!

He sighed and got up from the bed for the fifth or sixth time. Perhaps a glass of water would help him to get some shut eye! He'd already tried strolling around his room, reading the mission details, counting sheep and Jaffa, considering the situation at hand, Maybourne's role in it etc etc, and nothing had worked.

He silently opened the door and walked into the room. Immediately his eyes fell on the figure sleeping peacefully on the couch. He couldn't help it. Once his eyes were on her he couldn't look away.

She lay beneath a thin white sheet, draped over her body. Her bare legs stuck out one end of the sheet, her surprisingly dainty feet pressed against the arm of the sofa. She was dressed in a black nightdress that did not leave much to the imagination about her figure...

Somehow, Jack ripped his eyes of his 2IC and crept silently to the kitchen area. He grabbed a glass slowly moving to the fridge and opening it as quietly as possible. He pulled out the plastic bottle of cool water and poured it into the empty glass, all the time keeping his eyes firmly averted from the beautiful woman lying on the couch...

'NO! Not beautiful woman! Carter. Not beautiful. Not woman. Just Carter. She's not your wife. She's not attracted to you. She's just Carter. She has to be just Carter so stop ogling her and leave the poor beautiful woman alone... No! Leave your poor 2IC alone!'

Jack's thoughts irritated him almost as much as he irritated himself! Wait a second... He was confusing himself again.

He picked up the glass of water and made his way back to his room...

"Colonel?"

He glanced down at the woman lying on the couch. She was obviously half asleep, looking at him through practically closed eyelids.

He smiled softly and spoke in a tone he immediately began reprimanding himself for in his head, "Go back to sleep."

She smiled, her head moving back to the cushion, her long golden curls draped across the soft material, coating it completely. Her eyes, now blue again, slid shut as she breathed out softly, drifting back to sleep almost instantly. He watched her; the moonlight streaming through the window seeming to engulf her, turning her into an angel before his eyes.

In that moment, Jack realised two things. One, he would never, could never love anyone but Samantha Carter. Two, he was in very big trouble.

Å

Dawn's pale light streamed through a small chink in the curtains, as Sam's eyes fluttered open slowly. She put her hand over her eyes as she let out a groan. She stretched and stood up slowly, the bed sheet she'd found in a closet in the bathroom sliding off her silky nightdress and onto the couch.

The sky was a pale azure, the sun beginning to peek over the lapping waves slowly, sending a soft yellow glow over the landscape. She sighed at the beauty of it and felt herself drawn towards it, opening the front door...

No sooner had the door opened than her eyes fell on the man, leaning on the wall surrounding their porch, as he turned in surprise. He was wearing a white t-shirt and shorts and almost jumped to attention when he saw her. After a second to shake off his shock, the Colonel smiled, "Christ Carter, you made me jump!"

"Sorry sir." She mumbled, staying as hidden behind the door as possible, not wanting the Colonel to see her in this ridiculous silk nightdress.

After a moment, he spoke quietly, "I hope you slept well."

His respectful tone made her smile slightly, "Yeah. I slept fine. You?"

She could tell he was lying before he spoke, his eyes moving back to the sunrise, "Like a rock."

After a moment, she mumbled embarrassed, "So... what shall we do today?"

"Well..." Jack sighed, turning to face her, his back resting against the bar, "We can't leave the villa too early..."

Sam frowned, confused, "Why?"

His face went red as he mumbled, "...Last night was our... uh... wedding night..."

Sam spoke very quickly, "Oh yeah." She stayed hidden behind the door, "I'm not very good at this undercover crap, am I?"

Jack chuckled softly at her tone, "You're doing well. You're much better at this than you know. Don't worry about it, you'll be fine..." When she smiled slightly at his words of praise, he diverted his eyes again, "Anyway, we'll go for breakfast about 11am and then I think we should go down to the beach..."

"Shouldn't we be... looking for Maybourne?"

Jack smiled at her omnisciently, "Ah but we will be! Down on the beach, we'll nose around a bit. Sunset Apartments is supposedly not far down the beach. It's the furthest hotel away from us in this bay, but that means we're far enough away to not run too much of a risk of bumping into him by accident."

Sam nodded, showing she understood, before she murmured, "So... 6 hours till breakfast... what do we do till then?"

Jack shrugged blushing slightly, "Unpack... uh..." Jack chuckled, "Practice dancing..."

Sam laughed softly, "Why do we need to dance?"

Jack fixed her with his dark eyes, "They've got a dance floor in the hotel. If we're gonna act newly wed, we have to at least dance once every night... And I think I'm suffering enough with bruised toes without having to dance EVERY night with you as you are at the moment, meaning you have to practice!"

Sam blushed embarrassed as she chuckled, "I warned them! I can't dance!"

"Well that's something we're gonna have to remedy..." Jack smiled softly as he said, "Right. Let's unpack."

Å

Sam knelt with her suitcase in the bedroom, using half of the wardrobe and the left-hand bedside table to pack all her stuff into. Jack was on the other side of the room, packing clothes into the right-hand drawers, muttering with every clothes item, using very colourful language and cursing a certain archaeologist to hell in as many ways as possible.

The face that he was obviously outraged by the clothes he'd have to wear this holiday would've made her smile, but for the fact she was just as furious with the wardrobe Janet had selected.

She finally reached the bottom of her suitcase, two piece of yellow catching her eye. They were post-it notes, stuck onto two carrier bags. The words on the two post-it notes almost caused her to growl in anger, except she didn't want the colonel to know about them.

'Phase 7: Essential for Maui' said the first label. Sam cautiously opened the bag, two separate black pieces falling onto her lap. She felt her face flush as she hurriedly stuffed the black bikini halter neck top, with ties around the neck and back, and small briefs, with ties on either hip, into the bottom drawer.

Jack looked up at the sound of the drawer slamming but Sam just carried on as if nothing had happened until he turned back to his suitcase.

God, if he only knew that she'd giggled with Janet over the small piece of information about Maui that Urgo had stolen from the Colonel's brain. And now, Janet had betrayed her by giving her the very black bikini she was sure he had imagined! Damn her!

She stared at the next label, suddenly just wanting to leave the bag where it was. Her undying urge to discover everything in the universe, however, got the better of her. After a moment, she lifted the next bag from the case. Her curiosity as to what 'Phase 8' might be, seen as there was no 'description' on the label.

Slowly she peeled away the tape holding the bag shut and opened the bag...

"OH MY GOD!"

Sam literally dropped the bag, screwing it into a ball and hurriedly opening the bottom drawer again threw the accursed item into the depths of the bottom drawer...

"Carter?"

She looked up in shock as she slammed the drawer shut, the Colonel zipping up his empty suitcase, his eyes locked on her inquisitively from the other side of the King-size bed.

She was worried she was going to start babbling, her cheeks already scarlet, but the Colonel beat her to speaking as he sighed and muttered, "Don't tell me. I don't wanna know!"

She let out a self-conscious chuckle as he pushed his empty suitcase under the bed and left the room. The second he left, she reopened the bottom drawer and stared down at the bag, its contents spilling out of it.

A third post-it note stuck to the lacy white material read: 'For the Wedding Night!'

Sam was literally gobsmacked by her ex-best-friend's nerve. A negligee! Was she kidding! It was ridiculous and Sam felt like screaming with rage at her situation! Didn't Janet know she was already dying with embarrassment and regret without her pulling stunts like this!

Yet again closing the bottom drawer with a little more force than was needed, Sam pushed the second suitcase beneath the bed before getting to her feet.

Suddenly, a soft strain of music began to waft into the room through the door and Sam felt a real smile pull across her lips for the first time since the beginning of this ridiculous mission. She hadn't thought he'd been serious about the dancing practice. She'd obviously been wrong!

Slowly, she stepped into the bedroom doorway, her eyes immediately fixing on Jack who was pushing the living room furniture around so they had a dance floor. Her smile never faded.

His eyes rose after a moment and he began to blush, "Daniel put the CD in my suitcase with a post-it note saying 'Phase 9: Keep Practising'."

Sam felt herself blush as Jack emphasised the fact it was 'Phase 9', but he knew better than to ask. After a moment, his hand moved to the back of his neck, obviously as he felt uncomfortable with the situation, when he murmured, "So... Can I have this dance?"

Sam smiled returned as she mumbled embarrassed, "Uh... Sure... Uh... I'll apologise now... I've still got two left feet..."

Jack just chuckled as he held out his hands and she carefully stepped into his arms, staring at her feet. Her head hit his chest and she mumbled an apology as Jack laughed again and muttered, "I don't mind about the toes. Just look up."

She did and her eyes met his. She couldn't help but chuckle sheepishly as she promptly stood on his toe. She muttered softly, "Sorry." And looked down again.

One of Jack's hands moved down to her lower back as he pulled her slightly closer, so she couldn't look down any more. She looked at him worriedly and he said quietly, "Just relax like you did yesterday in the infirmary and you won't step on my toes. I promise." Jack stepped away from her for a moment and lifted her arms so they looped around his neck as he said encouragingly, "So you can't look down. Look at me."

Sam couldn't help but look at him now, which made her feel more embarrassed. Warm morning sunshine spilled in through the windows and glinted in his mahogany eyes causing her heart to quicken its pace.

He smiled at her gently and said, "So... what do you fancy for... breakfast?"

The muffled grunt between his words meant she'd stood on his toe again, but he continued smiling, pretending she hadn't. After a moment, she said quietly, "I don't know..."

Jack spoke, "Well considering it's our first breakfast of the honeymoon, I would most definitely spoil you rotten..." Jack smiled, "I guess that means a dessert for breakfast then huh?"

They danced silently for a few minutes, Sam not realising she hadn't stepped on his foot again, when he spoke softly, "Well, if we're gonna act like Newly Weds, I need to learn more about you!"

Sam laughed, "We've known each other years! You know tonnes about me!"

Jack shook his head seriously, "No I don't. Not the stuff like what your favourite flower is. If you had braces when you were a kid or what your nickname name was or... you know!"

Sam shrugged, "You want me to answer those?"

Jack nodded, "Hey, you don't realise how nosy people are until you get given an assignment like this and a folder full of who you are! I should know! But yeah... What I first want to know about my 'wife' is what her favourite flowers are. You'd be surprised how important it is for a guy to know that!" Sam chuckled as Jack continued thoughtfully, "Sara's favourite flowers were always roses and lilies and stuff, y'know, the expensive ones! But that's all I have to go by and you and Sara are very different!"

Sam stared at him as they continued to sway and after a moment, whispered with a small smile, "Daisies."

Jack blinked in surprise, "Daisies?"

Sam smile widened, "Daisies."

Jack smiled slightly at that and sighed, "Well, it's a start."

Å

Yet more Author's Notes: I'll keep apologising for this, but I am sorry it took so long! I've had a very busy year and with a couple of novels I'm desperate to finish and school work, I've had lots to do! But now it's the summer holidays and I'll try and churn out a few more chapters of this. I finished the last chapter of this last night, so now I have somewhere to go with the story, I know what I want to write.

Thanks for all your support, and patience, Sam xxx

Copyright (C) Sam I Am 2005


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